As we prepare to return the States, I feel a surprisingly large amount of sadness. Why? Because I will no longer be an expat.
I don't know why I find this so shocking. Even when I was a young girl I always dreamed of living abroad and traveling evvvvverywhere. So why wouldn't I love this life?
When I first moved to Dubai there was a long period of time where I was incredibly homesick and hated it here. I missed my family, friends, Target and the ease of being somewhere familiar. Now that I have adjusted to living abroad I would be 'ok' with staying an expat. I wouldn't want to stay in Dubai for many reasons, but give me a job in any European country and I am sold. I frequently mention to the hubs that I wish we would have known earlier that I would be 'ok' with staying abroad. If we had known we could have started applying for jobs and perhaps moved to Germany. :) (I may have developed an extreme love for Germany during our Christmas vacation!)
I believe a large reason for my sadness in returning to the States stems from the insane idea that it is final. I don't know why I feel this way when Ben and I both agree that we are keeping the option to go abroad again open. Perhaps it has to do with one of my biggest fears in life - doing nothing. Leading a boring life. Falling into routine and living in a rut. I don't want to wake up in my 40's or 50's and wonder where my life went. I want to live it NOW. I never want to look at another person and be envious of their life. I no longer want to look at the travel buses or airplanes in the sky and wish to be one of the passengers. I do not want to wish - I want to be.
I am happily blessed with a husband who shares the same desire to live now and experience much. A husband who desires to try new foods, wines, meet new people, go new places, do new things. A husband with whom I share an extreme wanderlust.