Thursday, March 31, 2016

Anxiety Revelation

Since submitting my law school apps, I have felt nothing but anxiety. As mentioned in my previous post, it's been a bit of an emotional roller coaster!  

A couple nights ago while reading before bed, it occurred to me why I am having soooo much anxiety regarding law school. There is of course the normal stress that change can bring, but I also will be leaving a job that I love, with people that I love working with. By leaving the job, I am removing my ability to successfully support myself. BOOM! There it is. The thought of not being able to support myself is terrifying. I am absolutely blessed with a loving, hardworking, husband who is more than willing to work to support both of us for the next few years. That isn't the issue - that is wonderful. I think I have some deep-rooted need to know that no matter what happens, I can take care of myself without needing anyone's help. If I'm being honest, without needing a man's help. I have trust issues when it comes to males. I'm sure anyone with a psychology background can psychoanalyze the crap out of that paragraph. 

It helps me to know that after law school, Ben and I will reverse roles. He will dive full-time into a Ph.D. program of his choosing and I will bring home the bacon. It is also incredibly helpful that I feel solid in our marriage and that we are both on the same page in terms of our commitment to one another and our wanting the other to succeed. I basically need to enlist the help of a therapist to straighten out the crazy that goes on in my head. Understanding that this is what is causing me significant amounts of stress and anxiety actually helps to relieve it a bit. Thank goodness.

Of note: I have been accepted to a law school!! I have only heard from one of 8 that I applied to. Hopefully I see some more admissions roll in!

Monday, March 28, 2016

One year with Odie!

We adopted our sweet terrorist one year ago today! We love our little snuggle puff!

Monday, March 21, 2016

Emotional Roller Coaster

Now that I have submitted most of my applications to law school, I have been on quite the roller coaster ride of emotions. As typical with my generation, I enjoy instant gratification, so having to wait 3+ weeks for a decision is driving me mad.

Day 1: Submit application. Feel proud of self and excited! 
Day 2: Check status of application a gillion times per hour. Feel confident. 
Day 3: No one is going to say yes. . . I'm not going to get in. This is going to be awful. 
Day 4: It doesn't matter all that much. I plan to take a year off anyway. I'm fine.
Day 6 & 7: What if I get in? What if we have to move? Change is too scary. I'm going to go vomit now.

Week one down. At least two to go. 


Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Personal Statement

After attempting to write my personal statement for my law school apps for 6 months, I finally finished a draft this past weekend. It is horribly sloppy, has incomplete thoughts, and needs a lot of work, but it is drafted!

Ben has graciously gone through and provided notes on things to revise or add. He has listened to me spout out ideas of what I could include in my personal statement for the last 6 months, so he has a good idea of what I want to say and reminded me of things that I inadvertently left out.

My goal is to be able to submit my law school applications within the next two weeks. Exciting times!

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