Disgruntled Employee

I couldn't help but giggle and snap a picture of this note left on the fridge at school.  It reminded me of a certain episode of The Office. . .  

 

Now to come up with a snarky reply note. . . 

Grover Going Cray-Cray

We finally caught his cray-cray on video!!!  I swear as soon as we bust out the camera he stops what he is doing and is normal again.  He may appear as if he is being aggressive in this video, but he really isn't.  He doesn't try and bite or injure you in any way.  He just growls, runs in circles, and jumps around.  I find it to be hilarious.  If you have never met Grover or spent time with him you will likely think this video is 'meh'.  BUT if you know the little turd you might get a kick out of it.  He's such a sweet boy.  :)

 

The trouble with kids today. . .

This week while subbing for a 5th grade Spanish class I decided to turn on music the last 15 minutes of class because the kids had been rock stars.  I have a work appropriate play list on my Amazon Cloud, so I turned it on and Spice Girls started playing.  Still love them.  Yes I'm 25.  No I don't care what you think. I also cried when I got to go to the NKOTBSB concert a couple years back.  Just adding some fuel to the fire of your judgment.  

 



 

 

Anyway, I was singing along and dancing around and the kids looked at me like I was crazy.  Then the following conversation took place:

 

 

Kid:  What is this?

 

LJ: SPICE GIRLS! DUH! [while continuing silly dancing and singing]

 

Kid:  What are Spice Girls?

 

LJ:

 

 

 Kid: Why can't we listen to Gangnam Style or Justin Bieber?

 

LJ:  Because Gangnam Style is evil.  I LOVED the Spice Girls when I was your age!

 

Kid:  Yea, which was like 30 years ago. . .

 

LJ:

 

 

  

 

Another girl in the class:

 

Kid 2:  I like the Spice Girls!!  Do you have any Bon Jovi or Journey?

LJ:

 

 

 

Well done, kid.  You are my new favorite. 

 



 

'Big Book of Grievances'

 

Mr. Heckles - Friends

 

1.  If I set my coffee mug above the passenger side right door, assume that is where I plan to rest my tuckus.  I am NOT being a kind person and saving you a seat there.  So when I stand in front of the door to open it, walk away. Go to the other side of the car.  Sit on your own side.

 

2. Showers are a necessity.  I suggest you take one and invest in deodorant.  And maybe drop that disgusting habit of smoking, because it really isn't adding to your personal aroma. . .  

 

3.  Perfume is supposed to be subtle.  I shouldn't be able to smell you 2304983490 hours after you leave the elevator.  Thank you for successfully raping my nose at 6:45 a.m.  I hate you.

 

4.  Thank you for honking while sitting still in traffic.  It makes me feel better, too.

 

5.  I really enjoy being asked the same questions over and over, every day.  Please continue to do so.

 

6.  Libraries are a quiet place.  So shush. Stop running. Stop bombing the shelves.  I made shelf markers for a reason.  Use. Them.



7.  Unless it is Christmas Eve morning or Christmas morning, there is not enough coffee in the world for me to WANT to have a conversation with you that early in my day.  Therefore, shush.

 

. . . ? . . .

Gives 'Bring Your Kid to Work Day' a whole new meaning.

 

 

**There is a goat next to the cab if you can't see it.

Turning green! Or maybe just olive for now.

 I recently stumbled upon the blog Frugal by Choice, Cheap by Necessity (FCCN) and am slowly becoming obsessed.  One of the posts really caught my attention.  I would be lying to say the title didn't draw me to the post.  It was the main reason I decided to check out this blog.  This post discusses F.A.R.T.S.  te he. 

Definition?

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This woman sets goals for herself and her family to lessen their carbon footprint on this world, make their wallets a little heavier and hearts a little lighter with F.A.R.T.S.  I am inspired!

Since getting hitched and moving to Dubai, Ben and I have been working on budgeting and figuring out what works best for us both and our lifestyle.  We have stopped eating out unless it is socially (for the most part.  Sometimes we slip. . . fries are essential to life on occasion.) and do a lot more cooking at home.  We tend to stick to what we know, but I do try and find some new recipe to try each week.  The problem with our classic and new recipes is that the stores here are not a reliable source for ingredients.  You really never know what will or will not be in at any given time.  Case and point - Ben and I were craving biscuits and gravy and Pillsbury biscuits were no where to be found.  Poop.  Instead of giving up hope I hit up Google for an easy biscuit recipe.  Found one, made them, they were awesome!!  SOOOO much better than Pillsbury!  You can read about it and find the recipe here.  The point of my rambling is that even before I knew about F.A.R.T.S., I successfully made one!  Pillsbury no more for this family!

So what next?

I have not yet figured out a something to do while still in Dubai, but when we return home I am excited to try a couple new things. 

1.  Cloth napkins.  Have a slew of them and ditch the paper napkins!  On FCCN she mentions that they have a spot for used, but reusable cloth napkins and for fresh, clean napkins.  Excellent idea!  How many times do you grab a napkin, wipe nothing off of your mouth once and throw it away?  Or is that just me?

2.  Bake my own bread.  This will likely be a work in progress for a long time to come, but there are people who make all of their own bread and never touch store bought.  They are my heroes.

3.  Learn to sew.  Once we are back in the States and settled somewhere I want to purchase a sewing machine and take classes.  I think it is ridiculous that a person of my height does not know how to hem a pair of pants.  It's like $10 to have someone else do it in Iowa City.  Dumb.  I also would like to learn how to do more crafty things with sewing.  Maybe put some of my Pinterest ideas into the works!

4.  A garden.  Start small and work my way up.  I have essentially no experience in the garden, may kill everything, but if something survives or pushes through I will have a celebration! Everyone is invited to feast on one tomato! Woooo!  But seriously, I would like to give it a shot!  Veggies and herbs and maybe some sunflowers.  Just because they are pretty.  Ben has extensive experience so I will look to him.

Big ambitions and excited to experiment!! 

 

Small Tidbits

Fan-freaking-tastic!

            

Sunday I had mascara under my eyes and no one told me about it. It was there all. day. Do I really look that tired that the mascara could be mistaken for giant bags under my eyes? Yikes. . .

Also on Sunday while trying to re-ink my stamper thing the ink bottle exploded and my skin is still stained. Awesome.

Yesterday I was walking around the entire day with dried coffee on my nose which no one told me about.  Ben pointed it out when I went to his classroom to meet up before going home.  Fantastic.

Today I forgot to put on make up and was told I look tired multiple times.  Apparently my real face is haggard and scary and I should never leave the house without make up again. 

Aside from being a hot mess this week, things are great! I have finally adjusted back to Dubai time from Germany time (yes, it took this long. . . ) and am able to fall asleep at a decent hour.  Things are stressful at school this week because the school is being evaluated, but teachers have been working hard to prepare and hopefully all goes well.  I did speak with one of the female inspectors today.  Please see below for our stimulating conversation:

IL = Inspector Lady   LJ = self explanatory

IL:  Good morning!  Are you the Librarian?
LJ:  Good morning!  No, I am not.  She doesn't come in until 9 a.m. if you'd like to try back then.
IL:  O, ok.  Thank you.

IL turns to leave, stops and turns back,

IL:  . . . Are you a student?
LJ:
. . .  

My goal for this weekend is to get posts up with pictures/videos from Ben's xmas concerts, some of Germany and a video or two of randomness that we captured in our everyday life.  Look for those soon!

Side note:  I was in the library at school when the janitor/maintenance man's cell phone rang.  His ring tone was My Heart Will Go On.  LOVE it!







 

Fun with Elf on the Shelf

I previously wrote a post asking friends and familiy to participate in Elf on the Shelf for a bit of Christmas fun.  We had two particpants and loved the photos we received!!  We hope to make this a bit of a tradition and get even more people involved in the years to come! Below are the wonderful pictures!  Thank you to Joni and Jamie, Keith, Kara and Nina for participating!  Seeing your photos helped us to feel a bit closer to home this holiday season.

# 1 - Joni Luke and her Santa! 



Joni with her Santa!

Hope Santa doesn't shoot a reindeer!

#2 - Kara and her elf named Merry!

Our sweet niece and her Elf on the Shelf book.

Kara with her elf, Merry.

Merry was present at the birth of Jesus, too.



Merry the musician.



Keeping a close watch.




Just hanging around. . .

Kara stayed in her bed all night!



 AND last but not least, our elf Tinsel:



Searching for a good Christmas movie on Netflix.



Snuggling up with Grover.

Hope everyone was good and Santa brought all kinds of goodies!

"Men v Women: Who are the Best Drivers?"

Newspaper article from 12/12/12 in 7Days - UAE.

Men v Women: Who are the best drivers?

UAE Survey states guys are more dangerous but the girls are too cautious and can't park.

The argument about whether men or women are the best drivers has rumbled on for years and a survey by authorities in the UAE has only added to the debate.

 

Male and female drivers across the Emirates were polled and the findings show the gender divide on who rules the roads is as wide as ever.

 

Nearly 750 (375 men and 375 women) motorists surveyed - 44 percent believe men are better drivers, with only 10 percent insisting women are better behind the wheel.  Forty-six percent believe gender does not play a role in driving standards. 

 

However, male motorists should stop and think before bragging as they're also considered the most dangerous on UAE roads - 67 percent of those surveyed said men are more reckless and drive too fast, while 59 percent said women are too cautious.

 

In the survey, conducted by the 999 magazine, a UAE Ministry of Interior and Abu Dhabi Police publication, 63 percent of respondents agreed with the statement that women are bad at parking, 17 percent disagreed.

 

A magazine spokesman said: "the survey shows there is a perception about men versus women in driving skills.  Although nearly half of the UAE residents believe gender does not play a defining role in determining who is the better driver - a fact reflected in official statistics - a big portion of the public remains divided on this."

 

Lt Colonel Awadh Saleh Al Hinkdi, editor-in-chief of 999 added: "Official figures do not show a skill gap between men and women.  Driving skills depend on personality, awareness and experience, not gender."

 

So are the finding on the finer points of motoring a true reflection of life on the open road? Lesley Cully, founder of UAE road safety campaign group Buckle Up in the Back, said: "It's interesting that these results were from a balanced base of men and women respondents.  If you asked my husband then me, you'd probably also get a very different opinion!  I, of course, am amazing at parking and directions whereas my husband is not then I'm sure he'd tell you otherwise!  Seriously, though, it's up to all of us to become less aggressive on the roads and more responsible for our driving."

 

Bobby Easow of Drive Dubai driving school, which opens for business today, said: "Your driving attitude is what makes you a good driver.  There is a common notion that men are more aggressive while driving and that women are too careful.  This is not true."  "

 

Driving attitude is something that is unconsciously absorbed and cultivated while driving on roads."  he added.  "In countries like India where most city roads have no clear lane markings and minimal lane discipline, you will notice drivers giving way to lane-cutters and even pedestrians.  You will also notice a low number of accidents in spite of the lack of proper infrastructure and 'chaotic' driving.  This is in contrast with the driving in the UAE where many cases of road rage and aggressive-driving related accidents have been recorded even though the quality of the infrastructure.  A higher emotional intelligence with the right attitude is what makes a better driver."

 

Women vs Men

Who are more prone to accidents due to using mobile phone while driving?

Men - 23%

Women - 21%

Gender doesn't play role - 56%

 

Who are more prone to accidents due to changing lanes without indicating?

Men - 37%

Women - 21%

Gender doesn't play role - 43%

 

Who are more prone to accidents due to speeding?

Men - 69%

Women - 9%

Gender doesn't play role - 22%

 

 

 

This seems to be the never ending battle!  I agree with the article that a lot of our driving skills have to do with our attitude.  I also think a lot of it has to do with where you are from.  There is obviously going to be a varying range of skilled drivers in each culture.  Combine all of those cultures and those varying skills and you get a whole mess of crap.  Dubai is one giant melting pot of drivers and each person thinks they are in the right.  I do not hold myself above this - I, too, believe that we Americans have it right when it comes to driving! That attitude is exactly what makes driving here dangerous. 

 

When it comes to driving in our family - Grover sucks.  Ben is very good in high-stress situations whereas I am not.  I am a good driver but parallel parking is not one of my strong points. 

 

 



This is how we roll. . .

Because who doesn't have a scarf-wearing camel sticking out of their vehicle?

Grover Killing Sock

There are some things that I do not want to forget about Grover.  His silly playfulness is one of those things.  In the video he is "killing" my sock.  I only get him to do it a couple of times, but he was really giving Ben and me some good laughs!  He rather enjoys killing my socks.  He loves Ben's socks, too, but he just carries those around the apartment.  Because of this, Ben's dirty work socks can be found in random places.  He's such a weird, sweet little boy!

 

We Come in Peace!

One of the storefront displays in Mall of the Emirates! (See movie Mars Attacks if you don't get my excitement.)

 

"Shitter's full!"

Lesson on this whole toilet/bidet thing.

Bidet, shit sprayer & toilet.

 

 

Last night I learned what everything in this picture is.  I found it rather disgusting so I'm sorry if this poo talk makes you lose your appetite. 

We were sitting at Trader Vics enjoying a drink and somehow we got on the topic of bathrooms and poo and how it is different to take a poo in this country.  The water level in the toilets here is much lower than in the States.  There is a little at the bottom of the bowl, which the tubey thing that sucks all the stuff down is a bit deeper than the toilets in the States.  (If you have been overseas you likely know what I'm trying to say).  Anyway - if you don't have perfect pooping aim you will likely get some dooty on the porcelain portion of the toilet.  That being said, the sprayer thing that we are accustomed to having as a kitchen sink accessory is used to spray off the inside of the toilet.  This was news to me - I thought that you used the sprayer thing to spray off your hiney and you do that while hovering over the sink like bidet next to the toilet.  Shocker to me!! 

I was informed by Ben that you are to sit on the bidet much like on the toilet and you turn on the faucet and it is what cleans your hiney - not the power hose.  Ha. 

For the comments that could come from this blog (Marcus!) - NO I have no tried to use any of these extra bathroom accessories.  I just thought I would share this newly learned bit of information with y'all.  I was unaware of how everything worked, so I figured maybe someone else was equally as unaware!

The Travels of Le Pooch

Be prepared for crazy dog lady to surface in this post.

My darling Grover made his way to Dubai to live with Ben and I during our time here.  We arranged with two services, one in Dubai and one in the US, to let us know what we need to do and to get things ready so Grover can make it safe and sound.  Well, success!  Ben and I were both very pleased with the companies we worked with, despite the cost, and Grover is here and snuggling next to me at this very moment. 

We had to jump through quite a few hoops to get Grovie here.  Mostly multiple trips to the vet and a trip to Des Moines to get a signature and seal from the USDA saying Grover is ok to fly.  With the Help of Animal Land Pet Movers and Dubai Kennel & Cattery things went very smoothly.  Ben and I made a trip to Chicago to drop Grover off with an agent of Animal Land Pet Movers who would take Grover to the airport and get him checked in.  Animal Land had arranged everything for us, i.e. the flight, so it was a very smooth process.  We were sent text and email verifications at Grover's every stop.  He flew from Chicago to Amsterdam where he made a stop at the Pet Hotel and was taken out of his kennel and had his water and food refreshed.  He arrived in Dubai safely where the DKC picked him up and boarded him for a couple of days. 

When Ben and I arrived in Dubai, it was too late to get Grover.  The DKC was kind enough to deliver him to our apartment the next morning.  We met the guy in the lobby and Grover was SO excited!  He was whining because he wanted out of his cage to greet us.  When we got him upstairs and opened his kennel door, he was so excited he peed a little.  Oops.  Luckily we have tile flooring.  :)

Shortly after Grover's arrival to the apartment.

Since his arrival, he has been doing pretty well.  He does have The Big D, which is rather unfortunate for both him and us, but we're working through it.  The time change doesn't seem to affect him much, although he wakes up around 4:00 a.m. and needs to go out.  He has warmed up to Ben quite nicely, which is a big thing because he is a bit of an asshole.  He even snuggled with Ben most of last night. 

Grover is used to getting walked for at least a mile everyday, so he has had some extra energy.  Ben and I took him for a walk a couple days ago when it was about 109 degrees.  He was quite the trooper although he was ready to nap on the cold tile floor when we got back.  I bet he's glad we got him groomed before we left the States!!

Speaking of grooming, here is a couple videos of Grover getting groomed.  He is such a baby sometimes....