One Step at a Time

It takes a lot for me at times to not allow my fear of failure to cripple me. The fact that I also struggle with feeling unintelligent and less than others is a struggle as well.

In spite of these fears, I want to go to law school. I have been blessed to have many wonderful people in my life who are incredibly supportive of this decision. They offer encouragement and support on a regular basis and listen to me rant and rave about how I'm going to apply to University of Hawaii. :) (as unrealistic a dream as it may be. . . )

Then there are the people who are not encouraging, but are destructive. I think that some people underestimate me and put me into a box and expect me to stay there.  I'm fairly girly - not stupid. It does not make me an idiot or less capable than anyone else.

Unfortunately, it is the haters whose opinions stick the most. My goal: to prove them wrong.

Mother's Day Surprise!

My brother and I were blessed with an amazing mother. Seriously. When I think about how she spent 8 hours a day at work to come home and run me to my practices for piano, dance, show choir, jazz  band, volleyball, girl scouts, etc., it exhausts me. I honestly do not know how she had the energy to do it. Not to mention she cooked all of the meals (including different variations of some dishes because I don't like taco seasoning, or meat loaf, etc.), cleaned the entire house every week, managed the finances, did the grocery shopping, etc. I have always appreciated my mother, but as I have matured and have my own 8-5 p.m. job, I am amazed by her. 

In honor of her amazingness, Shane and I decided to get her a very special Mother's Day gift and to make her a feast fit for a queen - which turned out to be brats/hot dogs, pasta salad, baked beans and deviled eggs. :)  Before we sat down to eat, we gave her her gift:

Can't wait to take her out!

Never ending struggle.

You know that thing called metabolism? Well mine sucks. It has since I was like 12 years old. So it is seriously a never ending struggle to remain at a weight I am comfortable with and unfortunately, I am not perfect. I fall off the wagon and gain weight and hate it. I inherited the Watznauer genes and am doomed to deal with this the rest of my life. Since I have been dealing with it for so long, though, I joke that when I'm 40+ and my metabolism dips even lower, I'll already know how to control my weight because I've been doing it for SO long.

In January I made the decision to join Farrell's because I was absolutely not happy with my weight and appearance and wanted to get fit and healthy again. It was also a motivating factor (but not the main factor) that we are going to Hawaii in June and I didn't want to feel like a beached whale while lounging in a two piece swim suit. It is now May and while the scale has not moved substantially, I have lost inches and can actually fit into clothes that I haven't been able to squeeze into in almost a year and a half. That feels fantastic!

I am still a ways away from where I want to be. I am about 3-4 dress sizes (depending on the day) away from where I want to be, but I am working hard to get there!

Another motivating factor in all of this was finding out that I am fructose intolerant.  I had to change my eating habits if I didn't want to feel like junk anymore. That means cutting out sweets (which I struggle with a lot - and pay for a lot when I give into cravings), processed foods, fast food, etc. I also have dairy sensitivities (common among those who are fructose intolerant) and so regular trips to DQ are a no-no. These eliminations from my diet have had an impact on my size as well. I am still trying to figure out what I can and cannot eat since it is different for everyone, but I'm proud of my progress.

To document my progress, here are a couple photos from late August of 2014:

And here is a photo from April 27, 2015:

Look at how much thinner my face is?! Part of the body slimness in that photo is due to the fact that that mirror is AWESOME. A $10 Wal-Mart purchase that always makes you look thin. :) BUT most of that is due to my hard work. I purchased that dress in November of 2014 thinking that when I lost weight I could wear it. It was too cute to pass up at the 2nd hand store! I couldn't come close to buttoning it when I purchased it. Basically from the T-cross up was open and the arms were so tight that if I flexed (or pretended to flex [non-existent muscles]), it would rip Hulk style.

Honesty I struggle to see any difference and don't feel as though I have made progress, but that dress proves that I am strides ahead of where I was previously. I plan to continue in Farrell's as a fit member and also have the 21 Day Fit Extreme that I follow sporadically. I am determined to get to where I am comfortable and feel good in my own skin!

Stuff to work on

There are things in my life that I need to improve upon. 

First off, I am awesome at procrastination. I have had two semesters to complete an independent study and with 2 weeks until everything is due, I am scrambling to get it all completed.  That is 7 assignments and 2 exams. Why do I do this to myself?!

I would also like to improve upon managing finances. I think that Ben and I have gotten a lot better, but we still struggle to put money into savings and keep it there. We do not have any credit cards besides essentials (i.e. needed a fridge for our new house and financed it.). We are working on paying off these essential store credit cards and becoming "debt free". In my mind, mortgages, cars, and student loans do not count. Those are going to be a part of our lives no matter what. At least car loans take a heck of a lot less time to pay off than the other two.

These are simply two things that are punching me in the face right now, so I thought I would share. 

FOREVER

Our beautiful wreath. . . that I made. :)

As the title of this particular post points out, I have not written a post in FOREVER.  Why? Because I'm friggin' busy, that's why. Although that is not really a great excuse because my sister-in-law is able to maintain her family blog regularly and she has 2 kids. But I digress. . . 

Ben & me at a friend's wedding.

Much has happened since my last post. . . like 9 months ago.  Ben has continued to do well at school and build the music program at Prairie. He has begun to take on singing gigs at weddings, which is really exciting! He first sang at our bff Marc's wedding in October of 2014 and has since been asked to play in about 3 or 4 others. I will be joining him in one coming up in the next year and a half or so. :):):) Ben has also begun to do a bit of research on where he may want to apply for Ph.D. programs and what it is that he really wants to do. If you want to know more, ask him. 

I was promoted at work at the beginning of this year from legal secretary to legal assistant which has been an excellent thing. The legal assistant position uses my skills and talents a lot more effectively and challenges me on a daily basis. I have to do a lot more legal research and analysis which is great prep work for law school! I continue to work on completing my bachelors and plan to graduate in Spring of 2016. I am SO EXCITED to be able to walk across that stage and get my diploma and be an OFFICIAL Hawkeye! :) It has been a huge uphill battle for me to get my bachelors, and it is going to be like gold to me! I am going to sign up for the LSAT in October and begin applying to law schools in the fall. Fingers crossed all goes well.

Precious prince. <3

Ben and I recently added a new puppy to our household. Grover loathed him at first, but I think that has changed into just "dislike". Growth. 

Here is our Odin:

Odin is 3 months and 2 days old as of today. We often call him "Odie" for short. He is doing well with potty training and has begun to sleep through the night.  

See - growth. 

As anyone who talks to me on a regular basis knows, Ben and I are traveling to Hawaii at the beginning of June for a 13 day vacation! We are going with Ben's parents, siblings, significant others, and nieces to celebrate Bill and Glenda's 40th wedding anniversary (which is today - April 12). That is such an amazing accomplishment and I am blessed to be able to celebrate with them.

Bill and Glenda on their wedding day. (Photo stolen from Jamie).

Ben and I commonly reflect on our time spent in Dubai and most of what we miss (besides the AMAZING people) is the food and experiences. This Friday I declared that we needed a date night and so we decided to try an Indian restaurant not far from our house. It was stinking delicious and the aroma of that place made me long for more days in Dubai!

Doesn't that photograph just make your mouth water?! We ordered samosas (which were promptly downed and therefore did not make the picture), naan, chicken biriyani, and butter chicken to share.  It was all delicious! We will be returning to Taste of India more regularly.

Other things we have done this year: 

We saw Phantom of the Opera, We Will Rock You, and Book of Mormon (BofM with Ma & Clif) at the Des Moines Civic Center. We will be attending Lion King in May

We saw Mannheim Steamroller at the US Cellular Center with Ben's parents.

We traveled to Lanesboro, MN where we camped, rode bikes, ate delicious pie, and went to see a play at the local theater. We did this as an anniversary trip.

We purchased 2 kayaks and are PUMPED to get to use them soon!

We've continued working on our house and are having carpet put in later this week. We've painted, decorated the guest bedroom, done yard work. . . 

We went to Spring Green in the fall last year and saw Much Ado About Nothing at the American Players Theater. We made our usual stop in Galena to pick up fine cheeses, meats, and wine for our picnic before the play. 

We traveled to Nebraska, Minnesota, and south to visit friends and family. (We are still working on getting out to Colorado to visit family. We never get to see Ben's brother Jon and his fiance, Bri. AND I've never actually met Ben's extended family.)

I found out I am fructose intolerant with a dairy sensitivity, so we have been eating a lot better than we used to in order to accommodate that.

. . . . . . . . . . . . 

We already have a busy summer ahead of us and are looking forward to what summer has to offer!